


No Escape

by FonicsMonkey



Category: South Park
Genre: Dominance, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Poetry, Rape/Non-con Elements, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 00:37:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13624848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FonicsMonkey/pseuds/FonicsMonkey
Summary: I didn't know you knew how to leave—that to leave me, you'd have to leave everything else,because I would neverletyougo.





	No Escape

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short poem I posted on FFN back in 2011. It's dark, and quite different from my other work. Let me know what you all think, and if I should post any other poems~

I don't know how to breathe.

I can't utter a single word.

I refuse to open my eyes.

I won't listen to another fucking thing.

If I part my lips and allow air to seep in,  
it's the same air you breathed—  
the same recycled atoms of life you expelled into my lungs  
when we kissed.

If I urge my throat to make a noise,  
my vocal chords will vibrate to the rhythm of your heartbeat—  
the same heartbeat that drummed under the soft fabric of your shirt  
when I lay on your chest  
after we made love.

If I force my eyelids to fold in,  
my pupils will dilate to take in the light—  
the same light that shone through the window  
as I helped you get dressed.

If I unblock my ears,  
my eardrums will sting from the sounds of the street—  
the same sounds that burst into the room  
when you opened the door to leave.

My mind is cluttered with snapshots of our time together.

The pictures change over time.

Now—

I see you holding your breath,  
your cheeks deep red  
as I pushed your lips open with my tongue;

I see you white with fear,  
your hands clawing the sheets  
as I lay my body atop yours  
so you couldn't squirm;

I see you frozen,  
your eyes fighting back tears  
as I fit you into new pants,  
ones that weren't stained with blood;

I see your slow and awkward gait,  
your legs stiff and numb  
as I shoved you outside;

I didn't realize it was wrong.  
I didn't realize my definition of love  
was different than yours.

I didn't know you wanted to leave.

I didn't know you knew how to leave—  
that to leave me, you'd have to leave everything else,  
because I would never  
let  
you  
go.

You thought you could escape,  
that by escaping from life,  
you would escape me.

But

they say I'm going to Hell for what I did  
to you.

And  
I hope so.

Because if I do,  
I'll see you there;

everyone knows

all Jews go to Hell.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to reach me privately? You can find me on FFN @FonicsMonkey and on Tumblr @FonicsMonkeyFF.


End file.
